What’s Driving You? – Exploring Our Need for Dignity, Safety, and Belonging in the Workplace

At an airport recently, I was standing behind a couple of business leaders waiting to board and I could overhear them talking about a new coworker in their office. “He definitely knows what he wants” said one. “He has a big ego, that’s for sure” said the other.

Hearing this, I thought to myself – Does he really have a big ego or is it something else that’s driving his behavior?

Before I started my own personal journey and path of transformation and leadership growth ten years ago, I would have probably agreed with these two business leaders, but now I see it in a much more nuanced way.  Ego is, of course, one dimension of the human experience but after working in a large multi-national corporate setting for many years, I can say that without a doubt, the “acting out” that can occurs in the workplace is not always about ego.  There are other (more fundamental) dimensions of our humanity that may be at play – Our need for dignity, safety, and belonging, that when unmet will produce negative leadership behaviors in the workplace.

Dignity – In the workplace, employees seek to be seen and acknowledged.  There is a need to be respected for their contributions and honored for our expertise.  Having and feeling self-respect is also key.  When a person perceives that their dignity is being impacted, there may be a desire to “prove” or seek acknowledgment in a way that may come across as self-serving.  Taking this one step further, a person may appear egotistical.  When a culture is built in the workplace that acknowledges and honors the dignity of each person, then each person can operate with a greater sense of confidence.  Leadership Reflection – How do you honor the dignity of those that you work with?

Safety – As part of the animal kingdom, human beings come hard-wired to look for and to seek safety.  Therefore, employees are naturally inclined to look for safety in the workplace.  This can come in the form of seeking physical safety (e.g., safe working conditions, a boss that supports you, etc.) as well as economic safety (e.g., a secure job, a living wage, etc.).  In the everchanging organizational culture, signs of “danger” can come with each restructure announcement or introduction of new approaches that disrupt the status quo.  While survival and safety are hard-wired instincts that would have kept our ancestors from being eaten by a bear, in modern times those survival reactions can be out of place and out of proportion with the actual situation.  In the workplace, this can show up a lot of different ways – a person may become combative (fight), leave the situation (flight), shut down/disengage (freeze), or give up/give in (appease).  When a culture is built in the workplace that is physically and economically safe, employees will be open to building trust and showing vulnerability, both of which can be a rocket booster to any organizational strategy.

Leadership Reflection – How do you create safety for your team (both during time of stability and times of complexity/change?

Belonging – Employees want to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves.  In an organization, belonging can have many levels – organizational, departmental, immediate team, etc.  This sense of belonging can drive employee motivation and engagement.  This is reflected in the Gallup engagement survey question about having a “best friend at work”.  Another way of asking this – Do you feel like you belong? When a person does not feel accepted in the workplace, they may appear as a “loner” or they may constantly seek to create relationships even when rejected by others.  When a culture is built in the workplace that creates a sense of belonging, employees are more likely to be productive and to find their work meaningful.

Leadership Reflection – How can you create a sense of belonging for your employees?

I encourage leaders to look at the “why” in a situation not just the “what”. If a direct report is arrogant and unapproachable, don’t get stuck on this behavior. Look deeper. Get curious. Ask yourself…

• Why are these behaviors here?
• What life experiences have shaped this person?
• What filters do they see the world through?
• Is their sense of dignity, safety, or belonging threatened (real or perceived)?

By exploring the “why” in addition to the “what”, leaders create more space for the whole person to be present in the workplace and it equips you as a manager to address situations more holistically – creating the opportunity for a long-lasting  change in behavior.

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Greetings!

To know me, is to know I love Broadway musicals. It’s a passion I discovered as an undergraduate when a mentor took me to my first show. From there, I was hooked!

This morning, I was listening to “Defying Gravity” from the musical Wicked. This song speaks to Elphaba’s (the Wicked Witch of the West) decision and choice to break away from the norm and follow the path her instincts, and to some extent, her values were calling her towards. Instead of complying and “being with the Wizard”, she realizes that she had changed.

She passionately sings

“Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I’m through with playing by the rules

Of someone else’s game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It’s time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes and leap!”

In business, it’s important for leaders to be willing to “Defy Gravity”. Innovators and disruptors exemplify this in how they are changing the landscape for consumers and humankind. The recent announcement by SpaceX that tourism to the moon, (yes, the moon) would be possible next year shows us what’s possible when a leader (and team) make a concrete commitment and work towards making it a reality.  In this case, they will truly be defying gravity.

So what about you??

How can you “Defy Gravity” in your leadership? Here are a few suggestions as reflected in Elphaba’s words

Trust your instincts: Research shows that through mindfulness and other practices you can cultivate an awareness and knowing that’s not just cognitive. In Somatics, we call this “whole body knowing”.  Engaging your intellect, instincts, and inherit knowing as a leader can give you a competitive advantage.  An example of trusting your instinct is demonstrated by Oprah Winfrey.  She uses a phrase (“What I Know For Sure”) both in one of her books and in many of her interviews.  For me, this phrase is a public declaration and reflection of a leader trusting her own knowing and instinct in her everyday life.

Stop Accepting Limits:  The limits that others place on us and the ones we sometimes place on ourselves can have a real impact on our leadership. These unseen (and sometimes unspoken) limiting narratives can keep us from reaching our full potential for greatness.  So, if the company you are at now doesn’t see your growth potential, find a company that does. When your boss pushes you outside your comfort zone, consider the possibility that they are helping you remove limitations. And when your own internal narrative is limiting or self-defending, don’t accept this as the truth.  As the saying goes, “Don’t believe everything you think!”.

What’s the cost?!: When we compromise in our leadership, it comes at a cost. Made sure you know the cost and are in choice. We’ve all had those water cooler conversations about what the company is making us do. Are they really making us or are we choosing to stay in a situation regardless of the cost??  One of the great exchanging in the song “Defying Gravity” is between Elphaba and Glinda (aka Glinda the Good Witch) where they are both challenging each other about making compromises in their beliefs (leadership) – “I hope you’re happy” they sarcastically go back and forward.  Glinda pleads “Just say you’re sorry:  You can still be with the Wizard.  What you worked and waited for.  You can have all you every wanted”.  With deep conviction, Elphaba replies “I know:  But I don’t want it – No, I can’t want it anymore”.  For Elphaba, the cost was much too high so flying solo was her choice.

So, as the world around us continues to evolve and change, I invite you to explore ways that you can “Defy Gravity” in your own leadership – “Everyone deserves the chance to fly”!

Read more:  http://www.songlyrics.com/wicked/defying-gravity-lyrics/

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